Ep. 6: Lions and Kitty Cats


Listen to the action-packed backstory to the hit tune "Lions and Kitty Cats"! This episode of ComposerDad vs. Bible podcast also features an incredible rescue from BuilderBoy, a PhD lady studying monkeys, Grandma cameos, and a live performance from ComposerDad!     

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Full Text:

Today is Saturday, a day of family togetherness. ProfessorMom, BuilderBoy, SquishyBaby, and I are in our 2007 Toyota Prius on our way to the zoo in Connecticut. We heard they have lions and we are very excited. 

We have been driving for two hours and SquishyBaby does not want to be in his car seat. 

BuilderBoy asks SquishyBaby if he’s had his nap. 

“Did you have a nap, brother?”

“No” says SquishyBaby

We are sad that SquishyBaby is sad, but we are happy he can say a few words. 

We arrive at the zoo. We quickly put SquishyBaby into a trail-tested front-pack and we all shush him to sleep. 

Suddenly a man falls into the lion enclosure! BuilderBoy quickly transforms into a forklift and rescues him. “Phew, that was a close one,” says BuilderBoy. ProfessorMom and I are so busy shushing SquishyBaby that we don’t notice. 

Suddenly ProfessorMom sees a lady studying monkeys. 

“Excuse me, why are you studying those monkeys?” says ProfessorMom.
“I am doing PhD research on these monkeys,” Replies the PhD Monkey lady. 
“Aha, I am also pursuing my PhD, focusing on Shakespeare.”
"Have you heard of “The infinite money theorem”? 
“Go on.”
“If you put 100 monkeys with typewriters in a room long enough, eventually you’ll get Hamlet.”
 “Yes, but which quarto!” 


Grandma: I have a question. 
ProfessorMom Emily: Yes, Grandma?
Grandma: What was that all about? What’s a quarto?
[Emily explains]
Grandma: …Fascinating! You should be on my podblast… 

We finally arrive at the Lion enclosure but, to our surprise, there are no lions in there, instead it’s full of kitty cars. But why? Before we can figure it our, we see the trees swaying from a sudden rush of wind. Guess what else we see? Bible, with another intense compositional challenge for me, ComposerDad.

“Hello Bible, we meet again.”

“Hello ComposerDad, I see you are looking at the lion enclosure.” 

“Yes, we thought there would be lions in there, but they are really kitty cats.”

“This reminds me of when Daniel was told he must pray to the king rather than to God. He refused and was thrown into a den of lions. In the morning the king came and found Daniel alive. God shut the mouths of the lions, and they were more like kitty cats than lions. I want you to write a concise song that about this moment.”

I knew Bible was close when I felt that intense rush of wind.

“No Problem, Bible,” I say, “but Bible was already gone.” 

Seeing no lions, we decide to go home. Suddenly we bump into the Phd Monkey Lady again. [Music].

“Excuse me, where are the lions?”

“Did you not see the incredible rescue earlier?”


“A superhero forklift swooped down and rescued a man from the lions. For safety reasons, the staff then removed the lions and replaced them with kitty cats. No one was harmed.”

“What an incredible rescue. Someday I hope to meet that superhero forklift”, I say. 

We drive home listening to our favorite family podcasts, Eleanor Amplified, My Podcast Has Fleas, and of course ComposerDad vs. Bible. We are listening to this episode right now. Hello us. 

When we get home I use my advanced computer music skills to craft a concise song in response to Daniel and the Lions Den, executing yet another intense compositional challenge from Bible. Hit it! 

I thought there would be lions
But they turned into kitty cats
I thought there would be lions
But they turned into kitty cats
They told me there’d be lions
But they were really kitty cats
I’ve been saved again

They told me to pray to a guy
I don’t pray to guys
I only pray to God
He’s the only one.
So they grabbed me threw me into this big pit

Where I thought there would be lions... CHORUS

In the morning the guy came around
And he looked in the ground
And he saw that I was standing there
He said, “I guess your God must be the real God."

'cause I thought there would be Rarr
But there was really Meow Meow
I thought there would be Rarr
But there was really Meow Meow